|When you think about it, Pokemon IS perverted.|
A Wild Pandering Politician appears! Pandering Politician uses Fear(poke)mongering. It's Super Effective, judging by the number of media outlets seeking to HYPNO-tize us with their NINETALES of terror in this latest poke-scare.
It seems American politicians are spreading FEAROW and GLOOM with rather GASTLY (if not outright FARFETCH'D) stories of sexual predators luring kids to ambushes using the Pokemon Go app. Not wanting to look like SLOWPOKES, these pols are invoking a QUICK ATTACK on an issue far rarer than finding a VAPOREON in Central Park. New York Governor Cuomo passed an EXEGGUTE-ive Order to demand REGISTEEL-ed sex offenders on supervision from playing Pokemon Go, because why take a CHANSEY with our children, right? We simply cannot eliminate every UNOWN threat to Pokemon Go players. The only real crime related to playing Pokemon thus far has been an isolated incident of a Poke-Villain using the game to PURRLOIN folks of their goods. The PIKA virus has now spread to other states, as California assemblywoman Ling Ling Chang wants to follow NY’s bad example by passing equally ARCANINE legislation. I suppose these legislators think they can just shout ALAKAZAM and poof, take credit for non-existent problems so they can ring the VICTREEBEL at the next election.
Watching these pols poke-battle each other to be the first one to pass anti-registrant legislation has been a real HOOTHOOT for me, but quite frankly, I find myself sKOFFING at their ridiculous notion. Their proposal is as useless as using a Level 1 MagiKarp in a Gym Battle and trying to understand their faulty logic is making my head EXPLOUD. We should be SEAKING a SERPERIOR solution to the real issues rather than faint with every CLEFABLE spread in the media and politicians. We cannot expect to CLOYSTER registered citizens who have completed their sentences and desire to become productive members of society by micromanaging every aspects of their lives. How can we expect our children to shed their KAKUNAS and BELLOSSOM in such an Orwellian environment? Building a FORRETRESS of solitude for registrants or passing TENTACRUEL legislation is not a reasonable solution.
Reading all this poke-fearmongering has made me DROWZEE. Perhaps it is time we stop allowing our politicians to run a-MUK. If Governor Cuomo cannot SWELLOW his pride and admit video game bans constitute poor public policy, then the best way to e-RATICATE all this fearmongering is to make a RAPIDASH to the polls and express our disapproval with our votes. DITTO for NY state senators David Carlucci, Jeff Klein, and Debbie Savino, who spent taxpayer dollars capturing Pokemon outside the homes of registrants, capturing a few more FEAROWS and GLOOMs along the way. Come November, we gotta vote them out!