Friday, September 23, 2016

Forget the Zika virus, the media is suffering from the PIKA virus

When you think about it, Pokemon IS perverted. 
[Note: I wrote this as an OpEd for a major newspaper but they didn't get the Poke-puns. I thought I'd share this here in light of the CBS 12 story out of FloriDUH.]

A Wild Pandering Politician appears! Pandering Politician uses Fear(poke)mongering. It's Super Effective, judging by the number of media outlets seeking to HYPNO-tize us with their NINETALES of terror in this latest poke-scare.

It seems American politicians are spreading FEAROW and GLOOM with rather GASTLY (if not outright FARFETCH'D) stories of sexual predators luring kids to ambushes using the Pokemon Go app. Not wanting to look like SLOWPOKES, these pols are invoking a QUICK ATTACK on an issue far rarer than finding a VAPOREON in Central Park. New York Governor Cuomo passed an EXEGGUTE-ive Order to demand REGISTEEL-ed sex offenders on supervision from playing Pokemon Go, because why take a CHANSEY with our children, right? We simply cannot eliminate every UNOWN threat to Pokemon Go players. The only real crime related to playing Pokemon thus far has been an isolated incident of a Poke-Villain using the game to PURRLOIN folks of their goods. The PIKA virus has now spread to other states, as California assemblywoman Ling Ling Chang wants to follow NY’s bad example by passing equally ARCANINE legislation. I suppose these legislators think they can just shout ALAKAZAM and poof, take credit for non-existent problems so they can ring the VICTREEBEL at the next election.

Watching these pols poke-battle each other to be the first one to pass anti-registrant legislation has been a real HOOTHOOT for me, but quite frankly, I find myself sKOFFING at their ridiculous notion. Their proposal is as useless as using a Level 1 MagiKarp in a Gym Battle and trying to understand their faulty logic is making my head EXPLOUD. We should be SEAKING a SERPERIOR solution to the real issues rather than faint with every CLEFABLE spread in the media and politicians. We cannot expect to CLOYSTER registered citizens who have completed their sentences and desire to become productive members of society by micromanaging every aspects of their lives. How can we expect our children to shed their KAKUNAS and BELLOSSOM in such an Orwellian environment? Building a FORRETRESS of solitude for registrants or passing TENTACRUEL legislation is not a reasonable solution.

Reading all this poke-fearmongering has made me DROWZEE.  Perhaps it is time we stop allowing our politicians to run a-MUK. If Governor Cuomo cannot SWELLOW his pride and admit video game bans constitute poor public policy, then the best way to e-RATICATE all this fearmongering is to make a RAPIDASH to the polls and express our disapproval with our votes. DITTO for NY state senators David Carlucci, Jeff Klein, and Debbie Savino, who spent taxpayer dollars capturing Pokemon outside the homes of registrants, capturing a few more FEAROWS and GLOOMs along the way. Come November, we gotta vote them out!


  1. The word fear mongering believe it or not has reached the interior of albany , when assembly are sold on the tier level as the worst , and the more worst , meaning two, and three never letting go and convinced not even excepting the notion of a plea bargan's of first time offenders after time served . But to remain jobless, homeless, and truthfully lifeless after millions of dollars have been spent on research and retirements of those missled by plea deals to protect child protectives services hideing the truth for a would be client of the state to resume a steady taxable income and contiued harm for the children .
    Yes its time to vote out - OR - discuss and open the minds of the elected officials that the rivers never stop flowing until someone builds a dam and re-directs the power of nature and our culture for the future of all non repeat offenders . Politicians keep the impression that time is now with no past only a future of fear . Thats how a war is lost not won . Unless this is really the end of the world for all humanity with un-leashed technonlogy.
    Bring back second chance with time served , revisit all levels, these laws are unjust and rushed judgement . And guess what assemblymen you are correct everyone should know who their neighbors are , gang members , arsons, re-habed drug abuers, bad cops, gun owners , government welfare recipients , crooked politicions living fat on tax payer money incarcerated collecting pensions and slipping thru the laws of state and the constitution using children as shields for funding taking the rights of parenting of full responcibility . Thats why we have dumb games being played by dumb people running around being led like idiots chaseing cartoons on A SMART PHONE ? Take notice all times of the night ! Are they on meds ? Or illegal drugs . This is the future Mr. Cuomo ? We want to know about the conversation with Shelden Silver before his jail sentence and the secrets of doing business as planned in that Italian resturant in little Italy in the back room . Money? Under age hookers I mean sex workers - privlidged incarceration rights . Even Mr. Cuomo's aides getting busted in a shake down scandle . His actions as Governor of NY have a very high recidivisim rate of corruption .

    1. If this falls on deaf ears , then its time for the level system , and this would not be short of a level three most likely to re-offend an most dangerous . Please understand that the efects of non forgiveing and those that skipped with all that tax payer money hired by the state are still responsible even when retired . Taxs of tax retierments are unjust and a burden on the next genoration of direct deposit only again to be ripped off by reciept only transactions government controlled that within that short span will not be enough . What about the social security that people paid into the state of NY ? Lost to those that never contributed . More reciepts and no answers . True level three politics ? Or should the corruption be forgivein as time served .

  2. Bring the New York Senetors to the fore front . Let it be known that more than internet idenifyers is only and a new way to observe public opinion for political defence , that really think it will help the public with such a cover up of corrupt New York politics and county fraud lying and stealing from the blinded full time working family . Not just your regular tax workers mandated property tax rapers ,and every taxabe entity to feed the over fed tong in cheek voted to office for favors due after every election . Heres one - READ MY LIPS I WILL NOT RAISE YOUR@TAXS .
    Really ; most of all that believed that one are dead and gone and the families are charged with a DEATH TAX . Chase that one on your smart phone . Pokemon will lead you to a highway in the middle of oncoming traffic . OOP'S . Send flowers care of poke'mon . Don't fall for child technology as an adult its a trap . This is the problem with with being a childs best friend as a parent divided by divorse or same sex parenting . How about this Mr. Coumo spare the child from adult hood . The girls know more about dressing to kill -compliments of mom , and the boys know more about guns than the police and the national guard .
    Passing a bill for sex offender idenifyers ? Looking over your shoulder Mr. Weiner ? Now that the Governor of NY and the country of the united states has been brought to its knees . Sex offenders ? They have been living and hideing in the White House for years . Don't believe me ? This is not tought in USA schools . You can learn from the times passed if you press 1# for englsh if its not t late . Good Luck .