Legal misandry: The true silent epidemic

Domestic violence laws are controversial in many ways, primarily because of the low standards required and the gender discrimination against men. Men are already seen as potential predators by many victim's groups. It is socially acceptable to cast men as potential predators. Child victim advocate John Walsh even advocates not hiring male babysitters because men are all potential pedophiles in his eyes. Maybe he just feels that way because he has battled sexual addiction over the years. No one questions that belief, and as a result, men must face uphill battles in defending outlandish accusations of abuse of any kind in court, be it sexual abuse of a child or against a protection order against a woman.

Our society has been inundated with Radical Feminist propaganda for many years. Popular culture has romanticized the concept of vigilantism against "abusive men" in movies like the Feminist film Thelma and Louise and Sleeping with the Enemy, and in songs like Janie's Got a Gun by Aerosmyth. Lorena Bobbitt was exalted by Feminist groups and other extremist "domestic violence advocates." Just type in the word "battered" in Google and the first results to come back include "battered woman's syndrome," "battered wife's syndrome," and "battered woman." There is a "battered men/ husband's syndrome," but to be honest, even I am surprised anyone has ever coined the term, and I doubt this has ever been used as a defense in court (the technical term is "Battered Person's Syndrome," but again, the term is generally applied to women). Do not not forget the discrepancy in sentencing for men and women are significantly different as well, with women getting shorter sentences for similar crimes as men.

There is probably no greater discrepancy in the gender gap in the area of domestic relations. Allow me to introduce a perfect illustration. Lets say you've been in a relationship for so many years to a woman who has a clinical diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression, has paranoia, and a family history of schizophrenia. She believes all men are indeed brutish, violent, and prone to cheat. As the man in this relationship you are subject to interrogations, invasive searches, and constant surveillance without ever giving the woman a reason to believe you are a womanizer or abuser. You are "walking on eggshells" as your every action becomes suspect. If a woman that isn't wrapped up like a Muslim wife in public, she would go on tirades about the perceived trashiness of the woman and accusations of lust for the woman of loose morals are directed at you. You reach a point in your relationship where you want out because you are tired of feeling like you are the subject of an FBI investigation rather than a loving hubby/ boyfriend/ fiancee.

When you two break up, she calls the police on you and makes a wild accusation. The police hassle you but they don't arrest you because you did nothing wrong (but as they see it, they "haven't caught you"). You pack up her things and leave them at her place in neat little boxes. A few days later you get a knock at the door; it is a sheriff's deputy handing you a restraining order. You feel a sinking feeling in your chest as you are treated like you just murdered someone. In 2 weeks you go before a judge and plead your innocence. The "ex" paints a picture of you as some kind of "monster," and the female judge accepts her on her word only. The judge rules against you. You have no defense. You are a man, after all.

How many times has this scenario played out in court? There is no telling. Men are the "stronger" sex, after all. Men do not report domestic violence against them because of many reasons, including a fear of a 911 call turning against him, fear (mostly of being accused of being abusive himself), societal disbelief, and shame. You can even say it seems like a joke, the thought of a big, burly guy whipped by a 5'3 woman. The cultural belief favors the woman, and many women know it. As a result, arrests of female abusers are rare.

There is another element of abuse that is not considered, though is often used in defense of women abused by men. Women tend to be more emotionally and psychologically abusive (though some were physical). Some women abuse their men through the legal system that favors women in domestic laws as well. It is far too easy to traumatize a man through a false allegation in the domestic civil courts, where only a "preponderance of the evidence" (a low standard of proof suggesting the allegation is "more likely than not" something happened) is the standard by which you are labeled and condemned. It is hard to prove psychological abuse, and as a man it seems the standard is unconsciously raised to "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt."

I have experienced firsthand the impact of psychological and emotional abuse from a woman. It is essentially the same as "Asymmetrical Warfare." Asymmetric warfare, in a nutshell, is the use of tactics to compensate for being the weaker force in a war, like Guerrilla Warfare or terrorism. A series of small scale attacks compromise the will of a larger force. perhaps the term "war of the sexes" has merit. I have suffered the long term effects of abuse, but as a man, I really have nowhere to turn. There are no "battered men's shelters," no assistance programs for men displaced by leaving his abuser, or even a support network. Equality is a myth.

Radical Feminists have been called "Feminazis." In light of many things they have stated publicly, I can see why Radical Feminism is seen with such disdain, yet their views are accepted in culture and the courts. It is not about "equality" of the sexes, it is a matter of usurping power. Ironically, Radical Feminists become the very evil they are claiming to fight. The symbol of the justice system is a scale, not a pendulum. Equality is a balance, but the Radical Feminists Courts are a pendulum. It takes more men willing to speak out against their abusers. We must not continue to suffer in silence.